Before I was a homemaker, I frequently wondered, 'What the heck does a stay at home mom do all day?' Here's a brief re-cap of my day:
Gather E into our bed for daily watching of Sesame Street. Discover lovely disposable diaper has leaked everywhere, right down to our sheets, our mattress pad, & mattress. Change baby. Remove sheets. Start wash. Fix breakfast.
Call Pampers to complain about the faulty diaper, while trying to entertain toddler. Call to make a return for a faulty Christmas present that has been sitting on our dining room table for a month. Hang sheets on line.
Take call from sister, get crayons for E. Start more wash. Get dressed, pack up toddler, go to store for $0.99 eggs. Realize while shopping cloth diaper has leaked. Crap. Hurry home. Change diaper, change clothes, fix snack. Nap.
Load & run dishwasher. Prep freezer cooking session. Scramble a dozen eggs, saute peppers & onions. Eat a slice of leftover pizza while standing up, prepping other ingredients. Realize burrito rolling is harder than it looks, wrap & freeze burritos. Go comfort screaming toddler who has realized she's napping without her favorite blanket. Pull blanket out of the washer & hang outside to dry.
Sit down for 15 minutes to eat lunch. Run outside to get blanket & give it to daughter so she can return to napping. Realize cloth diaper has leaked, despite best efforts to insure dryness. Change diaper, change baby, change wet quilt. Put baby back down. Fold clothes. Fix snack, wake daughter up, go pick up friend's son.
Drive home. Gather up necessary baby doll & blanket for daughter. Go for walk. Cash checks at bank. Return package to UPS. Walk home. Change diaper, fix snack. Hang wash inside while talking to other sister. Fix supper.
Realize it's getting dark & there's still wash on the line. Remove wash. Kiss husband, sing wrong prayer at dinner & make toddler scream. Eat supper. Realize diaper has leaked for the MILLIONTH time & child MUST be potty trained immediately.
Watch potty training video while chasing naked baby to & from potty. Get child dressed. Have her rush to the potty immediately after being fully dressed & THEN decide to pee. Diaper leaked. Oh. My. Word. Change diaper.
Try to convince toddler to clean up before bed. No. Watch husband clean up toys while toddler tries to remove them from the toy basket. Make toddler cry because she must go to bed. Realize diaper leaked AGAIN. (Are you freakin' kiddin' me?!) Gather new pjs, say nighttime prayers, kiss baby, feel totally drained.
Go to lay down in bed, realize there are still no sheets on the bed from this morning. Make up bed while grunting in pain at bending down with a 7 month preggo belly. Kiss husband. Eat cupcake. Thank God tomorrow is a new day & a new blessing.
Oy.
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Gather E into our bed for daily watching of Sesame Street. Discover lovely disposable diaper has leaked everywhere, right down to our sheets, our mattress pad, & mattress. Change baby. Remove sheets. Start wash. Fix breakfast.
Call Pampers to complain about the faulty diaper, while trying to entertain toddler. Call to make a return for a faulty Christmas present that has been sitting on our dining room table for a month. Hang sheets on line.
Take call from sister, get crayons for E. Start more wash. Get dressed, pack up toddler, go to store for $0.99 eggs. Realize while shopping cloth diaper has leaked. Crap. Hurry home. Change diaper, change clothes, fix snack. Nap.
Load & run dishwasher. Prep freezer cooking session. Scramble a dozen eggs, saute peppers & onions. Eat a slice of leftover pizza while standing up, prepping other ingredients. Realize burrito rolling is harder than it looks, wrap & freeze burritos. Go comfort screaming toddler who has realized she's napping without her favorite blanket. Pull blanket out of the washer & hang outside to dry.
Sit down for 15 minutes to eat lunch. Run outside to get blanket & give it to daughter so she can return to napping. Realize cloth diaper has leaked, despite best efforts to insure dryness. Change diaper, change baby, change wet quilt. Put baby back down. Fold clothes. Fix snack, wake daughter up, go pick up friend's son.
Drive home. Gather up necessary baby doll & blanket for daughter. Go for walk. Cash checks at bank. Return package to UPS. Walk home. Change diaper, fix snack. Hang wash inside while talking to other sister. Fix supper.
Realize it's getting dark & there's still wash on the line. Remove wash. Kiss husband, sing wrong prayer at dinner & make toddler scream. Eat supper. Realize diaper has leaked for the MILLIONTH time & child MUST be potty trained immediately.
Watch potty training video while chasing naked baby to & from potty. Get child dressed. Have her rush to the potty immediately after being fully dressed & THEN decide to pee. Diaper leaked. Oh. My. Word. Change diaper.
Try to convince toddler to clean up before bed. No. Watch husband clean up toys while toddler tries to remove them from the toy basket. Make toddler cry because she must go to bed. Realize diaper leaked AGAIN. (Are you freakin' kiddin' me?!) Gather new pjs, say nighttime prayers, kiss baby, feel totally drained.
Go to lay down in bed, realize there are still no sheets on the bed from this morning. Make up bed while grunting in pain at bending down with a 7 month preggo belly. Kiss husband. Eat cupcake. Thank God tomorrow is a new day & a new blessing.
Oy.
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